The last couple weeks, I’ve been praying about my identity in Christ—and, wouldn’t you know it, we’ve actually been talking about it in formation a lot too. A couple days ago, we talked about the fact that when God revealed Himself to Moses (and later on, when Jesus makes the most definite statements about who He is), he says “I AM,” and not “I DO.” And that’s the same way God is calling me to form my identity—not as “I do,” but as “I am.”
So, I’ve realized that I do not want to be valued or loved for what I do, but for who I am; not for things I say or tasks I can complete or roles I can fill. I want to be loved. And I realize that right now there is really only one person who can fit that bill. The only times my heart has been fulfilled in its desire to have someone say, “you are beautiful, and I love you, remain in me” have been when Jesus says that exact thing. It penetrates to my soul, it fills me up, it makes me beautiful and keeps me going.
“Arise my beloved, my beautiful one, and come!”
At the same time, I think if I want people to love me for who I am, I have to be willing to share that with others, to open my heart to the people I meet—not dodge the subject, not try to be funny, not talk about what I do because that what I think they want to hear—to unreservedly, unashamedly, unapologetically open wide my heart and invite others to look inside. I need to always return to the Lord for the answer to that question, “who are you?” I must constantly return to prayer. There will always be work, always opportunities to form community, but the real task is to rest in the fact that God is enough.
So who am I?
I am daughter.
I am bride.
I am loved beyond measure.
I am called to more: “let me see you, let me hear your voice. For you are sweet, and your voice is lovely.”
I am pursued.
Whenever I ask the Lord who I am, what I should do, His response is always, “Remain in me, remain in my love.”
May Jesus grant me the courage...
2 comments:
Danielle...you never cease to amaze me. Your growth and trust in His love is where we are all called to get, and you have been taking full advantage of your time at Covecrest to realize that. I can't wait to se you and talk and know that you are missed and loved back here by so many, for more than what you have done here but for who you have been here...a daughter, a sister, a friend. May God continue to send His graces upon you and give you a glimpse of His heavenly plan for you. Love and miss you.
I love you more than my words can express...and I think you are so very beautiful. I've witnessed Christ working in you and through you for years now.
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