First of all, a preface: I have not written a blog in a long time. I know. So a quick update on what’s been going on here before I get into the main topic of this blog (this may or may not be in the proper order...it’s been awhile!):
--Ohio State brought a group of amazing students here for a week to serve and pray with us. It was really great to get to know them and to see God moving in their hearts. Even though they were only here a week, it felt like a part of the community left when they drove away! We miss you Buckeyes!
--We celebrated Easter (Alleluia!) at Covecrest with a bunch of our families. My family flew out from California to hang out here for a week; I was so excited! It was great to finally have everyone meet everyone else, for two groups of people who are immensely important in my life to come together. Thank you, Lord!
--Brother John Ignatius came for a week to teach the missionaries about Scripture; I learned more about the Bible in those 4 days than I’ve learned in the last 23 years of my life! He is amazing, and I basically love all of the Servants of Christ Jesus (all 2 of them...). Brother John the Baptist from the CFR’s (formerly known as Jeremiah) was also here for the week. It was great visiting with him and just seeing the witness of a super holy man.
--Covecrest hosted a women’s retreat, where a bunch of women from all over the country came and shared about God’s love in the Sacraments. It was so awesome to be a part of a bigger community of women, to pray with women, to talk to them...it was desperately needed! One of the added benefits from the retreat was a re-conviction in my own heart to fight for time together as women here at camp.
AND, summer camp is 5 WEEKS AWAY!!!!!
Phew! And now, we resume your regularly scheduled blog...
Here’s a little background about my experience with Cajun dancing: it’s almost nonexistent, except for the couple of times Alex has tried to teach me a thing or two. Now, Alex is a great Cajun dancer, and I (obviously) am not; but that hasn’t seemed to matter too much. I’ve discovered that in order to dance well, I just have to have a partner who can dance well and follow his lead. Alex rarely tells me what to do; a slight pressure here, a turn of the wrist or the foot, a guiding hand—these subtle movements lead me where to go next, moving me in ways that I would not have expected or been able to execute on my own. And if I allow myself to be led, then I dance beautifully, even if I really don’t know what I’m doing.
Discernment, as I’ve been learning over the last couple weeks, is really a lot like Cajun dancing. God is my partner, and He knows the steps far better than I do, although He is a very willing teacher. In this dance we’re doing, I really can only dance as well as I let Him lead me by those gentle, subtle motions. He rarely tells me what He wants me to do next; rather, He expects me to trust Him to lead me. Now, dancing requires movement from both partners—I have to be willing to move! I have to trust. It doesn’t mean that I have no agency or action; it’s just a different kind. It’s a following, a compliment to the movement that the leader is doing. Sometimes it looks better than others—there are times when my execution is flawless, when I am completely receptive and willing to follow, when I understand the movements and where to go next, and people look at me and say “Wow! What a natural!” There are other times when I just get the steps all wrong, despite every effort on His part to lead me where He wants me to go. That’s ok too; as the best partners do, He just makes up new steps around my jumbled ones, and no one can tell the difference.
I am slowly starting to figure out this whole dancing thing—literally and figuratively. I’m not super confident in myself, but I trust my partners unreservedly; I’ve seen just how good they are. And as long as I keep letting myself be led, I know I’ll dance beautifully.
